the strength of warriors

In my life, I haven often wondered why things happen as they do? Why did my first marriage fail?  Why did I make this decision or that one?  Why did I have my babies at 26 weeks?  Why did I think it was my fault?

I have had these internal questions in my life for years. Also, some of these same questions about other people’s lives.  I have this profound need to understand why things happen.  I can lose sleep over and over, stop eating, stress and panic and I still can say, in my life on this earth I may never get these answers.

Anytime, anywhere, I can stop what I am doing…and stop torturing myself to give up asking these questions and give them to God. I ask for guidance, for help, for strength, for knowledge, and to simply let go and let God take it for from here.

I know God doesn’t put anything in our path that we cannot handle. However, sometimes I catch myself asking why?  I know and I believe that my faith in God is strong but sometimes my emotions get the better of me (for those of you who know me, well, let’s just say I am passionate with my emotions).

Over a year has gone by and I find myself praying for my cousin and his family daily. It is part of my routine, like drinking coffee every morning.

I pray for anything and everything that you could imagine.  Trucker,  is my cousin’s youngest son. He is very sick. It has been one battle after another and some small victories. Trucker’s spirit still shines brightly through everyone one in his family.  This strong tender boy leaves a mark on everyone who comes within reach of him.  His parents and family are fighter’s with the strength of warriors they continue to show their children and the world how to be strong, gracious, and faithful through adversity.

They are doing everything they possibly can and will continue too. I have faith in God for them but I can’t help but think as I sit here and my tears fall, what every morning might be like for Trucker’s mom, Shauna. If anyone deserves an award for anything, it’s Shauna. She has taught me about strength, grace, and to live each day in the moment. If I could do something in this moment, I would give her a hug,  a cup of her favorite coffee, and whatever her favorite comfort food is, her favorite people and lastly, one day without worry. She is beautiful, compassionate, loves life, and doesn’t take anything for granted.

Trucker and his mom are in New York getting treatment while the rest of his family stays at home in Hawaii. Soon they will be together. I wish I had millions of dollars, I really do! I would give it to them with my blessings.  I would tell them to take care of anything they need-medical bills, trips, anything…people from all over the United States have embraced them and made them apart of their family.

I am states away with my family. I am not a millionaire, doctor, or anything else,  I am a mother, a wife,  and someone who prays and believes in prayer.  I can only ask, if you have read this, take a minute and think of all you have in your life…..all of your worries, give them to God and say an extra pray for The Joshua Dukes family.

2 thoughts on “the strength of warriors

  1. Hannah Bower

    Beautiful thoughts on the most difficult trials that plague us this side of heaven. I admire your faith and willingness to share your heart. My prayers are for Trucker and all of his family often. God’s blessings to you, friend!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s