Do you ever get to place in your life where you are no longer getting anything out of a relationship?
For example; where silences get longer on the phone, a strange awkwardness when you are together in the same room, or perhaps something has happened between two people that simply can’t be undone. For one person it is not repairable but the other just continues on as if nothing has happened. This friend goes about her business and when it is convenient, she will resurface in your life again.
Sometimes, what breaks my heart the most is the idea that someone expects me to do something because it is what they want, with no understanding, what so ever that it might not work for the other person? I know there are takers and givers in every situation….in any relationship there should be reciprocal giving and taking. There will be days when one is just not strong enough to give and days where one takes more than the other. It is the middle ground and equilibrium where the relationship should be steadfast itself. The relationship itself should be able to balance itself on the tip on a needle…one will be overcompensating for the other but will understand that someday the favor will be returned. Generally, in strong relationships, I believe this to be true. It is what I strive to practice.
I have struggled and I have loved in all my relationships, no matter whether we are friends or lovers. I have said goodbye and hello to people who have left my life and tried to return to my life. I do not pass judgement on past or present. I welcome the idea of moving on but I don’t want the same flaws to show up in the same relationships. Automatically, my mind goes to “not this again”.
I have been have been braving a new path since the new year, working on my own dreams and taking care of my ever-growing 12 year old twins. I am working on projects that I don’t need to share with anyone. I feel blessed to lean on the people who are there for me. Who generally want to know about me?
Comfort finds me surprised getting your unexpected messages. I never know when they will come but each one puts me at ease.