Sunday, 9:27am

Husband outside, anxious and needs to check something off his list

Breathing in and out, green tea, and the sound of Kung Fu Panda dancing around the room

Lights off, grey light squeezes through the crack of the blinds and windowsill

Cole wrapped in his Seahawks blanket, daddy’s chair reclined, messy hair, lips curled upward at the edges

Austin giggles, lips and nose covered, a red weaved blanket covers him, bare toes peak out from under the blanket

I can hear them breathing, in the same room, and just being near them makes me feels whole

Our world has been shifting lately, where Dad has become the main attraction

Mom is the caretaker, while Dad can offer so much more on this farm, so many toys…who wouldn’t want to run outside before eating breakfast

But this morning, they are near me…in quiet, comfortable, laziness and I can breathe in for a few hours with them close to me

Both of my boys wanted to cuddle this morning. Curled up tight like a large breed dog…on a couch that can’t hold its size or weight

So uncomfortable but the body numbs after a while, anything to have them next to me

Six months from now, they will be 13 and oh’ where does the time go?

Engineering, experimenting, building engines, knowing the engine under every hood of car we pass, driving tractors, cars, stacking totes, welding, building a mini bike from plans, four-wheelers…the list goes on and on

My boys have so much ahead of them…

Today, I am content to be in this room with them, Austin now curled at my side, watching a cartoon…it’s been so long since they wanted to watch a cartoon

They are with me today, next to me, these moments are so simple and seem insignificant

Any moment with my boys I cherish…wrapped in blankets, cartoons, messy hair, and leaning on me

I will always be here.

 

I Choose You by Sara Barilles