The World Can Wait…

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There were times when we had trouble together.

I lived one way and you the other but

We lived under the same roof

Shared chores, the same dining room table

 

Taking you to school seemed such a burden

Trying to keep track of you

I felt so much pressure around you

I was afraid to take a step this way or that

Our personalities so different

 

Today, you are grown

With a family of your own

 

I see photos of you with your son,

Your wife to be, and your step-daughter

 

Where did this softness come from…?

I always knew you loved our family

But the love for your own…

Takes my breath away

 

I always wished you would have this

A special gift waiting around the next corner of life

But you waited and it came to you…

 

I keep hearing in my head

“the world will wait, my son”

And my eyes are wide open

My heart full…

 

Life will not always be perfect

Marriage and being a parent is hard work

But I am thrilled you have found your

Family…to complete you.

You always said you would protect us

Now, them…

 

Your life is full, my brother

“and the world can wait”

for you to relish in today

Book Review!!

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Darcy, we loved reading your book! Grace says, “you made the best book that I like.” We loved learning all about the hazelnut orchard.  So, proud of you!

 

For the Love of Farming

 

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There are days on the farm that our home feels like it has a swinging door.  We run in and out for lunch, to run parts for equipment on the farm, or business supplies. All the while, our twins who are 12 keep the door swinging whether its for play or working on the farm.

Day in and day out each one of us contributes to the needs of our farm.  My husband spends countless hours under the arbors of our hazelnut orchard or in the shop, the children are just starting to show interest about the farm and they want to be involved.  My sons pick up sticks on the orchard floor, drive the tractors, spot spray on four-wheelers and in the next hour I am running kids off to football practice.  They keep busy but they are learning that as a family, we are one unit and we have to learn to work hard together to keep the farm running, no matter what season we are in.

Our hazelnut farm needs continuous care depending on what season we are in but it takes a family to get through it all. My husband works along side his dad.  My mother-in-law and my self do the bookkeeping for our farm.  Believe it or not to run this farm we have about four different sets of bookkeeping.

I have struggle with this since we moved to the farm 12 years ago. I am not an accountant, bookkeeper, record-keeper, or someone who is good with numbers.  However, I have learned to adapt and find resources that will help me. My mother-in-law was a great help in the beginning but as our bookkeeping got more complicated I learned I needed even more help.  I took a few bookkeeping classes and spent a lot of time and money with our accountant.  I will continue to lean on this system for me because it works.  Why mess with a good thing when it’s working?

During harvest, about September through November life gets turned upside down.  I will be honest and say it is a struggle for myself and our children.  My husband works an easy 16-18 hours a day and if I don’t make him lunch and dinner, he wouldn’t eat.  He gets so focused on working that he won’t stop to eat.  He has an office that I stock up with food, snacks, and meals when I bring them to him. However, every year he easily drops about 15 pounds from the stress.

Harvest time is hard on our children.  They miss Dad so much. It is hard for some people to understand that dad is around for about eight months and the rest of the year they don’t really see him except for when they walk to the bus every morning.  For a few brief seconds, they get to see his smiling face and give him a big hug.  Sometimes he leaves them post-it notes on the mirror in the bathroom to surprise them just to let them know he is thinking of them.

For me, this time of year gets very lonely.  Some days I feel depressed and down.  But I know I need to keep my chin up because I don’t want my kids to see me struggle.  Everything this time of year in on my shoulders when it comes to running the house, paying the bills for the farm, and running the kids too and fro for all their school and social plans.  It gets to be overwhelming sometimes but I remind myself that this is not year-around and it is short lived. My personal life falls away during harvest time; I should learn to lean on it a little more but it is hard to juggle everything.

I have learned so much about myself, my family, and living on a farm.  I know that we have to keep things moving to making farming possible.  We have learned to adapt during certain times of the year and other times of the year we are able to lean on each as a family of four…and for a few short months it’s just me and my boys taking care of dad while he takes care of our year’s crop.  Through all of this, and the lifestyle we have, I wouldn’t change it for anything.

Life Is Short

Flame by Foreigner

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I have been reminded lately that life is so short.  Things can change in the blink of an eye and some people don’t see it coming at all.  It feels like running full speed ahead into a brick wall and I won’t break threw it, I bounce back on my butt as if I was a rubber ball hitting that wall.

In the last week, I have found out that one of my family’s dearest friends has cancer. He has just started chemo but his hands are full with work, his other children, and fiancé’. It is the most wonderful person and has been in our lives for the past 13 years.  He has a wonderful sense of humor which I believe will take him far in this journey.  I saw him before his treatment and I love this guy so much and we have gone through so much in our sudo-family that I couldn’t hold back some tears.  I think I hugged him like four times and at the end he was reassuring me that everything would be fine.

Last night I got a call while I was watching a movie that someone I love with my whole heart, had fallen and was taken by ambulance to the hospital with a concussion and doctors were taking x-rays of her entire body.  Again, I was again reminded- life is so short.  Thankfully, she will only be bruised and sore but she was taken home last night.  My children saw the entire fall happen and were great helpers but I could see the worry in their eyes.

I didn’t sleep well last night.  My mind filled with love and prayer for these two people and their families.  Life changes quickly.  My friends and family were lucky at least for yesterday, they are lucky, because things could have been much worse! I have this strong desire to seize the day, carpe diem, or whatever mantra you believe in.

Care for the people who care for you and care of the people who just need to be cared for whether you know them or not.  Show the world you are kind and do something for someone else this weekend without expecting anything in return.  Pray for more kindness and always have faith.

Light

 

Burning Christmas candles
Seasonal background with an array of burning Christmas candles with festive twinkling flames on a black background with shallow dof

But what kind of Light?

Light that squeezes tightly through an old fashion key hole

Light that drips up over the edge of a mountain and fills a valley

Light that breaks through the heavily wooded Douglas fir trees down to the moist soil

Sticks crack and break under my feet

Light paints the sky and slowly fills the Grand Canyon glowing in pinks, oranges, and yellows

Light sparkles from a diamond when the sun hits it just right

Light I invite into my home as I pull the blinds every morning filling the house room by room

Light means something different to everyone.  It can be used in many sentences in many different ways. But for today.  Light is how my soul feels.

I love book reviews!!

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Just read the book Grandpa’s Orchard. It is a children’s book based on a true story of an Oregon family hazelnut farm! Oh and the author is my friend Darcy Kirk. It is the cutest story and very informational on how hazelnuts are grown! I learned things about hazelnuts that I never knew before! So proud of Darcy for believing in herself enough to dream big and to follow through on her dreams! It is a great book and anxious to give copies to my grandkids! Congratulations Darcy, be proud of yourself and write more books!!

Thank you, Barb!! It means so much that you like the book!  You will always be like a second mom to me!! Thank you for all your support of the many years of my life!!

Book Review #3

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“We love reading a story about our favorite place to go in late summer! A place where play and fun collide and spending time with family is the very best of every day.”

– The Martin Family, Port Orchard, WA.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Grandpa’s Orchard was Created

Don’t Dream It’s Over By Diana Krall

For as long as I can remember I believed myself to be a writer.  It was, has been, and is what I am most passionate about.  I believe the power of one’s voice and think that everyone is capable of writing something great.  Everyone has a unique story to share with the world or simply a story to share with one other person.  However, there are very few people who would sit down and spill their guts out on to a piece of paper and feel like it is worth something.  I feel that everyone’s story holds merit and value even if its just for them; to hold on to.

When I was younger and people used to ask me what I wanted to be I would always answer a writer or an author.  I can’t think of a time that I ever answered anything else. Today, I can say I am a published author but I could also say that years ago when I published a poem about my Grandfather and in the last 12 years a magazine article about “my husband and being a dad”.  There were times since high school that I grew a part from my pen and notebook but I have always found my way back to what I am most passionate about.

I left my job of seven years last November and while focusing all my energy on my children and their education, I did start to get a few moments to myself and I found my pen and paper again.  I found my voice.  I also found my first Apple computer which I love dearly.  It holds all of my words, my secrets, my contradictions, my dreams.

I started writing everyday for hours at a time.  I changed my surroundings often and frequently changed perspectives in nature to gain a different focal point. There was a lot of journaling and free writing in the beginning, hours of sitting in my nook with the tiny fireplace I got for Christmas. It created a wonderful ambiance in my nook.  Everything that was and is me is inside this small space.

I would say that I frequently suffer from insomnia which if I get up and walk around, drink a glass of milk, or write a bit; I can generally get myself back to sleep within an hour or two.  However, this does not work all the time.

Since, I had started writing regularly my insomnia grew more frequent and I could not get back to sleep so waking up at midnight meant I would be up until morning and it was getting very annoying. This became a new standard in my life which I didn’t like because if you know me, you would know I need my sleep.

On a Monday night in January, I woke up and remembered my dream I had just had about my family on the farm.  I laid in bed for an hour tossing and turning and I ran through my dream over and over in my mind.  After about an hour, I got up turned the lights on low, I tore some sheets of paper out of a journal I kept and started writing.  I couldn’t get the words out fast enough.  I wrote sentence after sentence and could not slow down.  It was as if the words were spraying out the end of my pen like spray paint.  I can say it wasn’t my best writing or the neatest but it was the story of Grandpa’s Orchard. Yes, I did some editing and typed it all into a my computer the next day but it was my dream in its entirety. After four hours of writing, my hand ached and I became very tired, I feel asleep on the couch and when I woke in a few hours, I knew this was the story I was going to publish! Grandpa’s Orchard all started in a dream.

Book Review #1

‪”There is more growing on the Kirk Family farm than Hazelnuts. Through ‪the voice of a third generation farmer we learn about a child’s ‪connection to the land and love for his family.” ‪

Annette Harvey; Tutor, Elementary Solutions20160810_175448-1