There are times I second guess myself out of fear, being let down or someone else letting me down. Why is this? Am I truly just trying to make others happy or should I focus more on own happiness and make that be number one. So many people say you have to make yourself be happy first but isn’t that a load gun… ready to fire, type statement for all of us?
I feel I have to be the best mom possible to my children and I do put my own happiness aside because I am their mom. I figure it will all come back around when they graduate. I don’t know if this is right or wrong but part of me says I have to keep working on me…in five years what will be left of me if I don’t start focusing on me now. My children will be very busy in athletics, socially, and trying as hard as they can in school, just to complete high school and leave home.
I already feel my kids pulling away. It’s no longer cool to hold hands with me or put their arm around me when they are near their friends. It seems they want me less and less and Dad more and more. I wish I had a road map to being the best mom, the right mom, and give them exactly what they need when they need it. But the other side of me says, I would be doing them a grave dis-service because they are at the point where I need to let them figure somethings out on their own. (But not too much.)
I may be terribly judged for making this statement…but heaven for bid, I say something that most parents already think. Parents need parent time and it needs to be a priority. Moms and Dads both need time away from their children. Not because, you will both be running away from the kids screaming, “I can’t do this any more,” but because when you are in the full swing of parenting, people get tired, they focus only on the kids, and forget about the relationship and no one should neglect their partner for so long that one of them just starts to feel numb.
Romance, Intimacy, Sex, Conversations about things other than the kids, Foreplay, time without children, cannot be forgotten.