Looking for a Laugh…

After some time away for the holidays and now back home again, I felt like I had my feet under me enough that I could tackle the returns and my long list of errands. Today I made it my personal mission to get all the errands done in one day.  I often power through as much as I can when it comes to errands, instead of a slow dilly-dally day checking things off my list whenever. I typically take on the attitude, “let’s get this shit done as fast as possible,” I want to race to get all the monotony out of the way to hopefully, end the day with a sense of accomplishment and a calmness that will carry me into a relaxing evening. All of it has to get done and well, I am the only one who is going to do it. So, I packed the car and took off on this 17-degree day.

I value my time, how I want to spend it, and with whom I want to spend it with and no matter how hard I try there isn’t enough time in a day to get everything done. People might think because I don’t have a typical office job that I don’t work and have all the free time in the world but the fact of the matter is, I am busier than I ever was when I had an office job.  I have a schedule and I book up my days and move things around to fit people and tasks into my days.  The idea that I sit around eating bon-bons, taking naps, braiding my hair, waiting to hear from you/anyone or anything’s beck and call…is just bullshit! It sounds unreal but for me it is very true! (A tiny rant, oops!)

As I closed in on my second to last errand on the list, I took a deep breath. I walked into the brightly lit, shiny black floor with pink hues all over store.  It was packed literally, shoulder to shoulder of mostly women and very few men, fighting to get to the underwear and bra bins as if it was Black Friday.  I had only walked a few feet into Victoria’s Secret (VS) and I giggled out loud. I knew my smile brightened, I felt sincere joy and a little crazy for a few moments.  I was elated when observing the craziness of people swarming for underwear and bras, arms full, and the bras and underwear were all over the floors and hanging out of the bins.  I have never seen anything like It.

A  frenzy like Black Friday – which I have avoided for years because (in my opinion) it is completely insane and I have no idea why anyone would stand in line for hours at 4am to get a free snow globe the size of a small child’s fist, while being shoved from behind and knocked down to the ground to get a cheap token for arriving so early (lucky you)…..the cussing, violence, and crazies who come out in drones even before Friday starts; midnight the night before….furthermore, in five more years will people be standing in line the Wednesday before….and get this….stores don’t even give out the free snow globes anymore. (But hey, to each their own and I am not passing judgment on anyone.)  So, in my mind whether or not it’s tradition why in the hell, would anyone want to be a part of something like this.  It seems to me that it would be similar to the airport on Christmas eve.  (Please take no offense to my personal opinions about Pre-Black Friday sales, actual Black Friday sales, and Cyber Monday, I think there may have been something about Tuesday this year but regardless, you get what I am saying).

I am standing there giggling trying to decide if I am going to enter in the crazy zone, while a woman walks by and welcomes me with the words, “hey, kitty cat” and asks if I know my bra size.  I shook my head up and down signally yes and biting my tongue because of what she just called me; I knew that if I opened my mouth “WTF” would blurt out without a doubt!

I narrowed my sight and said to myself, “let’s get this shit down”.  I entered and decided just get what you need and get out, I was looking for a specific bra.  Anyway, as I continued through the labyrinth of hot pink bins, the lines to the register were the same as Black Friday lines.  I thought to myself, “WTF again”, and was in sheer shock at the amount of people waiting to pay. Did everyone in the store run out of bras, underwear, and all things VS on the same day??

(FYI – VS was having a “semi-annual sale”, this place has been added to my list of places to NEVER go during certain times of the year. Imagine:  Black Friday sales but in a multi-perfumed shoebox size store that only carries what you wear under your clothes or honestly, gets ripped off your body in a matter of minutes! I have never experienced this type of shopper except on the original Black Friday.)

There were three lines and all must have been running by new employees because I stood there for nearly twenty-five minutes to buy two bras. The woman in front of me and another next to me were both fidgeting, looking at the ground and scanning the store, both already had bags in their hands and seemed as if they may rob the place.  In my head, I assumed they were making returns and I didn’t really want to think about the idea that these items could have been used. Both of their behaviors were so strange, I couldn’t figure out why they looked so uncomfortable…but the tags were no longer attached to the return items. (Hey, I have worked in retail a lot and someone once tried to return shoes to me because their dog peed in them. True story!) (Rant, sorry).

Both women got to the counter at the same time and handed their bags to the employees to empty the garments and both women patted them down on the counter as if it was a secret or they were trying to returning edible underwear, it was something that made me laugh to myself because if you enter this store it is very specific to what you will be buying. We all know what we were doing in there…except I personally skipped over the underwear bins.

I happily went to the counter, spoke to the employee, she shared with me what her favorite bra was, and I know I had a smile and probably seemed a bit crazy because I think I actually giggled out loud…again.  Simply, I was humored and in ahhh! The maybe 40 minutes I was in the store; it was one humorous scenario after another.  I paid, said goodbye to the “kitty-cat” woman and headed to the car. I was wholeheartedly smiling joyously and giggling.

In the car and on my way to the bank …I was finally free to laugh out loud and uncontrollably.

So, if any of you are feeling tired, down, weary, or sad head on over to your local VS and people watch for a bit! Guaranteed to make you smile.

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