I have scars that remind me of old stories. Some happened so long again I can barely remember; I know if I asked my parents about them, they would surely know some of the answers of where my external scars came from.
I have two scars on my right hand from trying to do hand stands. She challenged me to how many we could do each and when we collapsed to the ground, she scratched me.
Another scar, on the inside of my right knee where the corner of the screen door ripped through my skin after my Dad had repeatedly told me that was going to happen if I didn’t move from where I was sitting. I didn’t move and I now have a six-inch scar on the inside of my knee from the screen door tearing through.
I have a scar just under my belly button about 10 inches long from a C-section horizontally just beneath this scar…there is an internal scar I can’t see, running vertically about 10 inches an emergency to save one of my sons. I have a scar from my first love – shattered and broken. It is now just a memory.
I am sure if we all thought about our scars we could list them. I have created scars on my body…self expression…designs and patterns that I want to be remembered. They are all apart of my body now and on my skin for all to see. I chose each of them for a very specific reason and they will forever be on me. Would I do this again…yes.
Scars are easy to spot or see on most of our bodies. There is an entirely different type of scar that may be so deep that no one knows it’s there. One has buried it and only a few will ever know it’s there. These scars can change you; redefine you. These scars strip us down to the core, make us define our ourselves and create an entirely new way of looking at the world.
These scars turn our lives inside out. They break our hearts, tear us apart, and make us wonder if we will survive. These scars, I believe are more than one sided…there is a cause and effect to everything and there are always two different ways to look at any given situation. I believe that these scars require conscious decisions…guided by our individual faith.
I have made a handful of these types of scars inside of myself and because I have made them, they in turn have affected others around me…and scarred them as well. We cannot change any of our scars but we all can make the conscious decision as to how they will effect the rest of our lives and how we look at them in our current lives. We can change how we react to them in the here and now. If they happened years ago, we can still learn from them. We can allow ourselves to keep them close but at bay as long as we keep moving forward.
Do not dwell on things of the past, we will never get those moments back and who wants to move forward constantly looking over their shoulders? If people look beyond what is rooted within them; their children for example…one can never get that time back and the children will change and evolve as they get older. Someday, one will get that knock on the door, hear the ring of their phone, an email and that child will reach for them. The children will want to know why, where, how; they will want to know you – the biological parent. At this point, the parent and child will have lost so much time….and the building may begin but there will be so much lost time. This indescribable scar can never be the most difficult to heal.