MacDonald Forest

Angel by S. McLachlan

 

The trees change color around me

leaves fall and I feel that each

floats like a feather to the moist ground

gracefully carrying us to the new year

yellow, orange, and deep red

surround me in this foreign patch of

grass-tall fir trees tower above

they creak as the wind blows them

this and that way…

pacific northwest winds swoop in

the cool breeze brushes my bare arms

my grandfather’s military green sweater

oversized, itchy wool, a bit musty

wraps me in memories

barefoot I stand,

soil cold and wet

pine needles cover the path

McDonald Forest is my place

of solitude this morning

I look up to the sky

guarded by tree branches

eyes closed I can picture

beyond the pine needles

comforted by the silence

I walk for about an hour

and then back again

wind picking up and the chill

makes me quiver and shake

my worries swirl around me

stolen by the air

time comes to mind

I try to push it out

forcefully, I fail

the hustle and bustle not forgotten

I was unaware for hours

In the breeze, in nature

nothing seems to matter

where I can just be me

The World Can Wait…

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There were times when we had trouble together.

I lived one way and you the other but

We lived under the same roof

Shared chores, the same dining room table

 

Taking you to school seemed such a burden

Trying to keep track of you

I felt so much pressure around you

I was afraid to take a step this way or that

Our personalities so different

 

Today, you are grown

With a family of your own

 

I see photos of you with your son,

Your wife to be, and your step-daughter

 

Where did this softness come from…?

I always knew you loved our family

But the love for your own…

Takes my breath away

 

I always wished you would have this

A special gift waiting around the next corner of life

But you waited and it came to you…

 

I keep hearing in my head

“the world will wait, my son”

And my eyes are wide open

My heart full…

 

Life will not always be perfect

Marriage and being a parent is hard work

But I am thrilled you have found your

Family…to complete you.

You always said you would protect us

Now, them…

 

Your life is full, my brother

“and the world can wait”

for you to relish in today

Shadow

By Joshua Radin

lake-billy-chinook

 

Castle like rocks stretch the lining of the west side of the water

casting a shadow across the left side of the canyon

the shadow slowly climbs to the top of the ridge

a warm breeze blows the hair across my face

trees scattered about the canyon walls

and I can count the ones that circle me

 

the stair steps of the rock that cascade around us

now shelters the water from sun

the gray flicker of water rocking the boat

back and forth

back and forth

Darkness cannot come fast enough

 

Trees show off their reflection to left

To the right

I rest in the middle of this beauty

 

Wet hair dripping lake water down my back

observing…

being in this moment

 

 

 

 

Sinking Sunlight

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Wake Me Up by Ed Sheenan

 

You come to me in the sunlight

The flicker on the water

my mind sinking into you

deeper and deeper

 

and I can’t get closer

will you find me somewhere floating?

toward you

can you take the time?

find me, I am here

 

this moment wont come again

the grey, white and black

toward you

but do you see me

…everything reflects

 

I picture you

I see your hands

And the depth of your eyes

Lost somewhere below the surface

…eight feet below

 

they move quickly around the light

darkness surrounds me

and the people near me are unaware

in my mind

…sinking deeper

 

this can mean what you want it too

the transparency, I need

give me a chance

 

companionship is what I seek

conversation, I require

attention, I need and

Still, I have to feel wanted

 

 

The Same Highway

The same highway every year

identical parcels packed every year

black, blue, green, orange sleeping bags

and the same jerking in the diesel truck

from the boat being pulled behind.

 

What is it about this trip?

When does the same journey become

ritual

or tradition?

Do we decide these for our family’s?

At what point do the roads become

so familiar that I could drive them

with my eyes closed…

 

Lemons and limes roll around the floor

boards of the truck-

the bags torn open and this is only the beginning…

 

The memory of what is created with my children

Is something I have grown to love over the years

Lots of preparation and something is always

forgotten–

Gratefully, its never been a child

Seven trips to the store, five coolers

four bags of food and 12 towels

 

Every year this trip comes and goes

excited and happy, 95 degrees

and my heaven on earth

feeling weightless in the water…

 

the sun breaks through the windows

casting light across my bare legs

in a matter of days, the same sun will

be shining across my face

on the drive home…

 

 

 

 

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With Arms Wide Open — By Creed

The sun creeps over the peak of the barn

beats down on the dew covered grass

The outer row of the orchard

cast beams of light through the rows inside

 

So much space and yet I take it for granted every day

not everyone has this, the ability to wake in the morning

and see the day break across the horizon

 

I prayed for this day to give me clarity, a path

when I woke this morning, to see the world differently

 

No more guilt, just life experiences

no more trying to please people

at the cost of myself…

 

I seek true happiness for myself because it is what I need —

at what point should I live and let live

 

There as a part deep down inside of me that is not satisfied

if I could figure out what it was I would nail it

to the floor and chip away at it until it’s gone

 

Standing in the rain is an amazing cleanse-

I wished for the rain last night

running down my face, neck, arms and traveling

the length of my body until it falls to the ground

 

Clouds paint the sky in blues and shades of white

going through the motions, might just get me to tomorrow

My list of chores continues to grow

so, I start at one

take a cleansing breath in and prayer for rain

Whisper

Small Bump by Ed Shennan

I wait for you

Quietly you are hidden inside me

No one knows me like you do

Am I afraid of losing you

 

I wonder where you are

Every day

Every second

 

Do you feel

I feel

Want to know what you feel

 

A candle flickers in my window

And I still wait

Find the light I have left for you

 

Have you looked for it

Do you look for it

Dusted across the sky

 

I search for you to find romance

The kind you show to me

My heart bleeds for this

 

Broken for the lack of luster

Have you noticed

I have given up

 

I can’t talk about it again

I will not beg

Why don’t you see me

 

This could be a start to something

Beautiful & new

Creating as we go

Whispering through unknown

I Choose You..

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Sunday, 9:27am

Husband outside, anxious and needs to check something off his list

Breathing in and out, green tea, and the sound of Kung Fu Panda dancing around the room

Lights off, grey light squeezes through the crack of the blinds and windowsill

Cole wrapped in his Seahawks blanket, daddy’s chair reclined, messy hair, lips curled upward at the edges

Austin giggles, lips and nose covered, a red weaved blanket covers him, bare toes peak out from under the blanket

I can hear them breathing, in the same room, and just being near them makes me feels whole

Our world has been shifting lately, where Dad has become the main attraction

Mom is the caretaker, while Dad can offer so much more on this farm, so many toys…who wouldn’t want to run outside before eating breakfast

But this morning, they are near me…in quiet, comfortable, laziness and I can breathe in for a few hours with them close to me

Both of my boys wanted to cuddle this morning. Curled up tight like a large breed dog…on a couch that can’t hold its size or weight

So uncomfortable but the body numbs after a while, anything to have them next to me

Six months from now, they will be 13 and oh’ where does the time go?

Engineering, experimenting, building engines, knowing the engine under every hood of car we pass, driving tractors, cars, stacking totes, welding, building a mini bike from plans, four-wheelers…the list goes on and on

My boys have so much ahead of them…

Today, I am content to be in this room with them, Austin now curled at my side, watching a cartoon…it’s been so long since they wanted to watch a cartoon

They are with me today, next to me, these moments are so simple and seem insignificant

Any moment with my boys I cherish…wrapped in blankets, cartoons, messy hair, and leaning on me

I will always be here.

 

I Choose You by Sara Barilles

 

 

 

 

To My Grandfather…

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I hold you in my hand

your silent ashes dust my palm

fist clenched, I couldn’t release you,

colorful petals to guide you

beneath me, Lake Cushman

above me, a cloudless blue shy

around me, an icy wind without you

everyone who loved you…

A memory of your still body

I stared at you for countless hours

but now, your body does not exist

my angry hand loosens around you

I wanted one last goodbye, your whiskers scratching my face

but I missed it…

remembering the last words we shared

Today, I face life outside you

wondering what our words would’ve been in our last moments

making myself promises because of you

striving for goals to prove myself…”write,” you said.

I can’t guarantee mistakes won’t be made

but I will live on with your name honorably

Not ready, I let you fall between my fingers…

I put you to rest surrounded by family

and the wind carries you to the surface of the water

Fleeting Highway 126

My face is in his hands, he told me to run with it, Kiss on the move-

Thumbs attract to highway, like love pulls skin on the shoulder. My name

perched on his lips. We peddled until blisters rose like moons on our heels.

Dust and sweat slicked our legs, sun touched our arms.

Long stretches of empty hills, horizon mirrored asphalt-

his body tight and flexed.

For miles, no cars, around dry corners, little conversation.

Silent, I imagined us, back to back in wheat fields that rustled around

around our bodies-

Broken, you found me-captured,

you helped me fly. Through dust and sweat,

surrounded by dry rugged trails-

You became my moon.

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