Go Ahead, Unfriend Me!

unfriendEvery day, I go to this object which is now so much more than just a common telephone.  It is the root of all evil…..do I still get sucked in, yes!! But do I complain, not really!!

It’s full of gadgets and buttons, that I may push by accident and who the hell knows what will happen when I do?? I attempt to push these buttons with purpose and knowledge of what will really happen….as if the world will stop!  At this point, my children know my phone better than I do.  Does life require me to have this…..hell no….but I have fallen into this sucking vortex of technology.  Yes, I can make my way through an apple product (shit, don’t shoot me for be an apple person) but I can get done what I need too on most Apple products.

So, with social media as it is today….I will claim its awful, what’s the point, and -uck it…..but yes, I fail and I continue to use it. Do I share my heart, soul, and deepest darkest secrets on it…..no way!!!

I woke this morning with a big fat UNFRIEND ME in Facebook.  Now, logically who the hell cares…..she isn’t worth it any way if she feels the need to even check that box but I was a upset.  Yes!  What the hell?  Why did it bother me, to be unfriend??  By someone I see a few times a year??

Part of me says screw it all (technology, I mean), did I really need to wake up with someone trying to -ucking play scrabble with me at 6am….what the hell could I spell at that hour, of any meaning?? Click to another screen, how much money is in the bank, oh okay. Weather??  Schedule for the day.

So, I continue about my day and feel sad for her that she feels the need to spend her time un-friending people online.  Did I make my choice, yes?  Did I know it would cause the “un-friending”? NO!

I had been with the “new” girlfriend the night before (unplanned), He was just not in love with her any more (now has a new friend) and now you unfriend me…..were we even friends in the first place or just friends in this cyber world that means nothing.  Yes, I can have very serious conversations through a text message…..does some of it get lost literally because of the gifts language brings to us-in the spoken word! Hell, yes….things can happen in the spoken word….words make things happen!

So, I actually see you outside of this “unfriend” me world and you no longer speak to me, I guess we aren’t friends any longer but by now…..sadly, I would say I am a veteran of being friends with six different couples who have gotten or are getting divorced.

So, I again, reexamine… were we even friends?? Did you become friends with me because of families or him? Or did I do that? Who Knows?  Who cares?

Snap Chat…..WTH, now I get a snap chat from you saying you are un-friending me, is that absolutely necessary when Facebook already tells me that….but go ahead introduce me to Snap Chat, that deletes our messages after a certain number of minutes…..why Snap Chat me that you don’t want to be my friend?? The only purpose I see– is if you are trying to hide some unsightly photo that you would never ever want to go public.

Now, ask me if I care if you unfriended me?  Go ahead, ask!! Well, I do because I am human and I do have a heart! It was the fact that instead of being a human and saying i’m done or screw you to my face……I saw it on a screen.  Is this what human contact has come too? Nothing face to face but screen to face?  Something is so wrong!!

A few days ago I forgot my phone quite frankly, I lost it and went to town willingly and it was so freeing, relaxing……like I was stranded on  beach with a bucket of ice cold beer and…… really, I was roaming the isles of Cash & Carry.

Other than a phone, what is this Apple good for?? Other than eating it or running it over with my car?? I am one friend short today and I guess I am okay with that.

But, I will keep my Apple!

Whiplash

I Can’t Change the World by Brad Paisley

Dear friends new and old, for those of you who know me well, know that I should be fast asleep right now dreaming of my next travel plans, my birthday (which is tomorrow), and counting sheep and butterflies.  You know that perfect sleep where nothing can wake you.

Well, I am not there, not there at, all because I am suffering from whiplash.

My neck is in such great pain, shooting down my spin to my tail bone.  I am sure the bruising has already begun and I have no idea how I drove home, stayed on the road, crept up the stairs with my bags in stow…let alone, how the hell, I was able to bend over and take my pants off (currently, still sitting here in my bathrobe).  How did I even get my pajamas on?? Should I wake my sleeping husband who is snoring in the other room?

If the sun was out and it was just another normal day, I would scream out in pain and hopefully someone would come running to help me.

But because it is after 10pm, the house is quiet like the night before Christmas and I sit here alone with my head spinning! Reveling in pain, discomfort, and confusion…I am here, drinking tea in the darkness trying to calm myself down.  And tonight, that meditative shit everyone says works….isn’t working for me!!

I have no explanation as to why this happened, I feel so confused, and my heart is racing…I truly feel like I have been slapped across the face with tennis racquet as hard as possible.  So, hard in fact, my face has the strings imprinted on the entire left side of my face.

warning readers: this is a metaphor (I am totally fine!)