MacDonald Forest

Angel by S. McLachlan

 

The trees change color around me

leaves fall and I feel that each

floats like a feather to the moist ground

gracefully carrying us to the new year

yellow, orange, and deep red

surround me in this foreign patch of

grass-tall fir trees tower above

they creak as the wind blows them

this and that way…

pacific northwest winds swoop in

the cool breeze brushes my bare arms

my grandfather’s military green sweater

oversized, itchy wool, a bit musty

wraps me in memories

barefoot I stand,

soil cold and wet

pine needles cover the path

McDonald Forest is my place

of solitude this morning

I look up to the sky

guarded by tree branches

eyes closed I can picture

beyond the pine needles

comforted by the silence

I walk for about an hour

and then back again

wind picking up and the chill

makes me quiver and shake

my worries swirl around me

stolen by the air

time comes to mind

I try to push it out

forcefully, I fail

the hustle and bustle not forgotten

I was unaware for hours

In the breeze, in nature

nothing seems to matter

where I can just be me

Sinking Sunlight

1water

Wake Me Up by Ed Sheenan

 

You come to me in the sunlight

The flicker on the water

my mind sinking into you

deeper and deeper

 

and I can’t get closer

will you find me somewhere floating?

toward you

can you take the time?

find me, I am here

 

this moment wont come again

the grey, white and black

toward you

but do you see me

…everything reflects

 

I picture you

I see your hands

And the depth of your eyes

Lost somewhere below the surface

…eight feet below

 

they move quickly around the light

darkness surrounds me

and the people near me are unaware

in my mind

…sinking deeper

 

this can mean what you want it too

the transparency, I need

give me a chance

 

companionship is what I seek

conversation, I require

attention, I need and

Still, I have to feel wanted

 

 

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With Arms Wide Open — By Creed

The sun creeps over the peak of the barn

beats down on the dew covered grass

The outer row of the orchard

cast beams of light through the rows inside

 

So much space and yet I take it for granted every day

not everyone has this, the ability to wake in the morning

and see the day break across the horizon

 

I prayed for this day to give me clarity, a path

when I woke this morning, to see the world differently

 

No more guilt, just life experiences

no more trying to please people

at the cost of myself…

 

I seek true happiness for myself because it is what I need —

at what point should I live and let live

 

There as a part deep down inside of me that is not satisfied

if I could figure out what it was I would nail it

to the floor and chip away at it until it’s gone

 

Standing in the rain is an amazing cleanse-

I wished for the rain last night

running down my face, neck, arms and traveling

the length of my body until it falls to the ground

 

Clouds paint the sky in blues and shades of white

going through the motions, might just get me to tomorrow

My list of chores continues to grow

so, I start at one

take a cleansing breath in and prayer for rain

Places Inspire Creativity

 

  1. In the grass, Greasy Creek trickles next to me (sometimes toes in the water)
  2. Just about any old picnic table anywhere
  3. Anywhere the sun is setting
  4. Any time or place in the rain – secluded
  5. Mt. Hood after a hike
  6. Multnomah Falls on the trail
  7. Silver Creek Falls any where
  8. In a quiet or busy pub (love the noise but also the quiet)
  9. Imagine Coffee on Philomath Blvd.
  10. My writing nook at home (no boys allowed!)
  11. People watching in PDX – great writing prompts come from this!
  12. Did I say in the rain?? I actually have waterproof paper!
  13. Any trip I am on with my sister
  14. After, seeing Aubrey, Darcy, Christie, or Ricky (when I was much younger)

 

A Shout out to Teachers!!

I have been thinking a lot lately about teachers. I just signed up and am now enrolled for a week long writing workshop with my high school creative writing teacher…for me learning should never end.  Granted, you have a number of years to  be taught in a school setting.

It’s an empowering feeling that comes when you complete the task at hand, the report, the project, and for me at 39-I will never stop learning-Wether it be how to be a better writer, mom, wife, bookkeeper, photographer, I will never quit learning. I believe learning is important to all people at all ages.

I think about the things that people say about my father as a teacher.  He has been retired for a few years now but I still run into people who ask about him and share with me the wonderful stories of how he impacted their lives.  I actually had my dad as a teacher, years ago and I remember loving watching him (he always looked like he was so happy-elated really, to be a teacher) but I also remember him being very strict with me.  I understand why now because he wouldn’t show any special treatment with his own daughter but I remember thinking he was a great teacher!

Fast forward to today, I have two 12 yr old boys who each struggle in their own subjects and with different social situations. I lean on their teacher’s to tell me what is going on, to help me help them with homework, to let me know when they are having a bad day or a good day.  I expect them to move mountains for my children and they do!

I also believe some teachers see me walk down the hall and want to run like hell to their classrooms and lock the doors.  🙂 I can often become emotional about my children (after all, they are my kids and they deserve the best). Their growth in school is something I feel I need to be actively involved in because I have no control about what it is happening when they are in school.  Again, I rely on the teachers.  So, for any of you who have known me as a parent and you have had my child in your class, I am not crazy however, I am fighter for their education, I am also a fighter for you (teachers), if any teacher came to me about something they needed in their class, I would go out of my way to help them personally get it.  If they needed a voice, I would give mine.

Teachers, I need you to do your best and have the supplies you need to be the best teachers you can be! Down to my core, I believe that the teacher/parent relationship is so important.  So, to some of you, I am sorry if you ever had to pass me the box of Kleenex in your classroom. I am passionate about my children’s education and you deliver that to them!

We have been blessed to have some amazing teachers for our boys.  Teachers that go above and beyond, they embrace their roll as their educators, they do not give them the answers they work to help show them the way, these educators deserve more-every year we pack their classrooms with more and more students, less supplies, and less time for hands-on learning…..there is so much testing and standards that MUST be met.

I wonder, if we gave teachers the standards to meet for a year and didn’t have to worry about specific standardized tests–what would happen in those classrooms.  I believe those teachers would guide their students to fly….if they met the requirements set by the state but they were not limited by how they fulfilled those requirements.  Just think…what that would do for the teachers and most of all, for our students and children!? The entire classroom would light on fire with learning and ideas….minds asking questions and exploring new and different subjects that just don’t fit in to today’s curriculum.

Teachers are an incredible resource, they are a special kind of person. These people are rare! When you find a good one, try to figure out how you can keep them in your child’s life, so they develop a bond and the student will always know they can go there (to that teacher).  They will know and feel that that specific teacher will always have their back. They give and give without expecting anything in return.  We need them, more of the them, and it seems every year the number of actual teachers, we have, drops.

So, if you get the chance and see a teacher-your childhood teacher, or teacher’s you  have now, make sure to thank them and let me know how important they are to you and your world. I know I need to thank the teacher’s that help my boys’ every day. Without teachers, what would our children and future look like?

 

Did she or didn’t she??

sherpa-fleece-feet

Few may know this about me, but I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat.  It can happen anytime as long as I feel safe and comfortable.  I can fall asleep in the middle of an action-packed triller, a romantic comedy, or any movie or book for that matter.  At the end of every day, no matter what was happening that day–my body relaxes and my eyes just shut.  Yes, I am one of those people who try to fight it-sometimes one eye open, then two, then one again….this could go on for an hour. In and out, in and out as I fight sleep-sometimes even being taunted by those who claim they love me.

My husband and children think it’s hilarious to shout and yell mom just as my eyes close, always I am startled awake and the room fills with laughter.

Just this weekend, while on a quick trip to Great Wolf Lodge in Grand Mound, WA. with my sister and her two daughters, I was reminded of their love for me.  I was told at the end of the trip, that they all were trying to talk to me and mess with me…just as I was falling asleep each night.  Asking me questions, and I was answering them with nonsense as if, I was coherent.

Yes, Yes, my sister of all people, know I can fall asleep anywhere.  I think her least favorite past time is starting movies with me-any genre, no matter the movie title or who’s in it, or how bad we wanted to see it together-I usually miss 3/4 of the movie and she is left awake giggling to herself because she can never stop a movie in the the middle and restart it later.  She and my husband have this same problem, they can’t sleep until it’s over. And for me, that’s not really a problem.

Does it really matter, how many movies that I have started one night with someone and finished the next day alone?  I don’t think so but to some, I could say, I understand this frustration when they lean over to me to say something and again I am sawing ZZZ’s as they are trapped awake and can’t possible hit pause on the movie and join me in my slumber. I know, I am not the only one who suffers from early on set sleep mode when the play button is pushed at the beginning of a movie.  Come on, I know you people exist out there.

Anyway, this weekend, I remember begin curled up under the most wonderful Chenille blanket on my sister’s side of the double bed we shared for the weekend…kids running around making noise…I remember feeling this smooth wave of rest wash over me and no, the t.v. was not on. I dozed off again.  At one point, I continuously remember feeling a small brush or tickle on the bottom of my feet or foot, I was not awake enough to know whether it was happening on one foot or both.  I was in a sleep state where I don’t actually know if someone was messing with me or if in my dream there were bugs tickling my feet, or feathers grazing across my bare feet, or for that matter, whether or not it was dear ol’ sis freaking messing with me.  I don’t remember her ever speaking or making a sound as I slept. The last thing I do remember was hearing my sister, say, “we will get our swimsuits on and meet you down at the pool, shortly.”

So, I am on the bed in my tortured bug infested dream…imagining or feeling (in real life) that my feet were being -ucked with…I lurch forward at the hips to what felt like slamming my head up against a brick wall and awake by my dear sister, who decides it would be a good idea….while her wonderful little sister sleeps…to tickle her forehead and nose with the corner of the feather weight Chenille blanket.

I am now awake…not really awake in the way, I like to wake up slowly. But jerked up by her stupid humor…..and who actually thought that was hilarious but herself and the empty quiet room she was in. Oh’ boy did she ever think it was hilarious!

As for myself, not so much.  We get dressed and I begin to tell her about my foot issue….was it a dream or was she actually messing with me??  Of course, she denied nothing of the sort.  And she stuck with that answer.

The weekend passes and it’s never brought up again…did I ever get even with her for tickling my forehead and nose??? No.  Oh, but I will!

So, I am asking you. Do you think she was messing with me the whole time….were the bugs on my feet disguised and it was really my sister’s fingers?? Or, if I know her as well as I think I do, possibly a plastic fork?

Either way, she’ll get hers next time we see each other!